"Wisdom of a Father"

As we walk through several passages in the book of Proverbs, we will examine some advice of a father to his son. These are lessons all dads ought to teach their children.

Wisdom of a Father

(Prov. 2:1-5)

Intro:

A.  Kerri has taught me many great lessons, but when it comes to parenting, one lesson she continues to drive home is the need to listen to our kids.  When our kids were young she would say, “If I want them to talk to me when they are teenagers, I need to listen to them when they toddlers.”  When a child can come and sit down beside his mom or dad, grandparents, or other influential adult and begin to share their heart, that adult becomes a very special person.  You don’t share things with people you don’t trust.  Trust becomes the key to a good relationship.  When we guard our feelings because we are afraid of how another person will act, the last thing we are going to is to turn to that person for advice or help.

B.  Listening is a gift.  James told us, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger.”  Why be quick to listen, because when we listen we become far less judgmental then when we talk or share our anger.  Listening is a gift.

C.  If you want your kids to listen to you, to respect (not just obey), to hear what you have to say, then you have develop a relationship based upon trust.  That child needs to know that you will not lead them down the wrong path intentionally.

D.  Jesus knew the importance of children.  One of the most terrifying verses in the Bible is spoken by Jesus.  Listen to what he says in Matt. 18:6.  Think about it from God’s viewpoint.  We as adults have the ability to influence children for both good and evil.  If our actions lead a child into sin the anger of God is so great that Jesus said it would be better to have this great weight tied around your neck and then face a death of drowning.  That is a harsh picture.  So what advice, what words of wisdom can we tell our children?  Let’s walk through a few of the Proverbs and hear some of what Solomon shared with his children.

I.  Help Your Kids Learn To Listen

A.  It really doesn’t matter if you are a child or an adult, we all need to learn to listen to wisdom.  But good fathers want to develop a listening and learning spirit within their kids.

B.  When we as dads help teach our kids to listen they learn life skills that will enable them to grow into productive adults and become good parents themselves.  Solomon push the need to listen and learn.  In the opening reading of Prov. 2:1-5 we heard Solomon say that his teachings would help his kids understand the fear of the Lord and the knowledge of God.  Solomon made it clear that the root of his teachings was God’s word. (look at verse 6).

C.  Now let me turn to the kids for just a moment.  I would guess most of you have been on an Easter Egg hunt before.  You go out there looking, not for the Easter Eggs, but I bet you go out there looking for the candy in the Easter Eggs.  Solomon said to his kids that listening to what he taught them about God was as important as searching for a hidden treasure.  Read along with me Prov. 4:1-5.  Solomon remember his father, King David, and how as a child he was taught about God.

D.  Dads, let step up our role in the family as spiritual leaders.  We often let mom take that role because she is around the kids more, but God seems to put the responsibility upon us dads.  Eph. 6:4 tell us not to exasperate our kids, but to bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.  Prov. 22:6 is that wonderful quote, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”  Kids are to listen, but as parents we are to give them something of value to listen to.

E.  Many dads are great at teaching their kids how to do things like take care of their car, build things, money management, or whatever the dad’s employment or hobby might be.  But teaching your child about God is so much more important than teaching your kid how to hunt, fish, or ride a bike.  Let’s admit that this king of teaching takes time and commitment.  It is not always easy but it’s the right thing to do.  We can’t afford to not teach them.

F.  The way most kids learn is by hearing and seeing.  Children emulate.  Just want some of our babies try to lead singing waving their hand while the songleader stands up here.  They will follow in at least a few of your footsteps, so give them good footsteps to follow.  How many times has your child heard you pray (not for food)?  How often does your child see you reading the Bible?  How many religious conversation do have with your kids in a week’s time?  Is attending worship or Bible study important to you?

II.  Teach Your Kids Discipline

A.  A lack of discipline is becoming more prevalent in society today.  As adults we don’t like it and as parents we don’t want to give it.  In single parent homes neither one wants to be “the bad guy” and too often parents in general want to be their kids best friend.  My kids are not my friend, they are my responsibility.  I am their guardian for they belong to God and one day I will present them back to their heavenly father and be called into account for how I took care of God’s blessings.  Love does not mean I have to beat them nor does it mean I have to let them rule the house.  Love means I want to help them understand God’s pathway for their life.

B.  As a Christian adult God disciplines me.  The Hebrew writer put it this way (Heb. 12:7-11).  Listen as Solomon says how important discipline is:  Prov. 13:24 and 19:18

C.  There are many ways to discipline, but the goal is not punishment, but correction.  As parents we discipline not because we are mad and angry (that is our problem), but because we want our children to walk in a pathway that is pleasing to God.

D.  Discipline, when done correctly, teaches respect for others.  I learned how to behave in public, how to eat a meal at someone’s home, how to act in school, to treat other people all through careful discipline of my parents.  They were not perfect, but they wanted me to learn to respect authority and other people.  Let discipline be a teaching tool not a way to deal with your own anger.

III.  Teach Your Kids About the Wrong Crowd

A.  In these teaching moments we have with our kids, another lesson Solomon taught his kids was that there is a right crowd and there is a wrong crowd and you have learn the difference.

B.  Prov. 1:10, 15-19.  Everyone wants friends.  The problem happens when we begin to pick the wrong kind of friends.  I am not talking here to just kids in grade school, but listen you in high school, college and early in the work force.  What type of people do you want to be around?  They will influence you.  I love you, but if you think you are so strong that their influence means nothing, you are naive.

C.  Now as you young adults listen, let me share some of Solomon’s advice:  Prov. 6:20-29.  We live in a world filled with lust and immorality.  We think that we can dabble in it a little, but it will hurt you.  Solomon says no one who touches her will go unpunished.  You want to have a healthy marriage?  Then say pure until marriage.  Keep your eyes pure, your heart pure and your mind pure.

Conclusion:

A.  There is really nothing new in this sermon.  Solomon was not a perfect dad, neither was his father, King David.  Some of us as a dads shirk our responsibility because our own past.  That is wrong.  Your children need to learn from you, maybe even from your past if you are now living in repentance.

B.  A parent’s ultimate goal is to see their child live a godly life.  In order for that to happen, we have to talk and kids need to listen.  We have share godly truths and not be afraid to hold our kids accountable through godly discipline.  Parents want what is best for their kids.  I say that not just to the ones who still live at home, but to us who still have parents living.

C.  Your heavenly father also wants what is best for you.  He calls you to a holy life in this unholy world.  He calls you to repentance as you accept his grace and forgiveness.  He calls you to come to him as he opens his arms to welcome you.  If you need to answer God’s heavenly call, then come as we stand and sing.