A. A first grade teacher gave her class the first part of a proverb and asked them to finish the second half. Here’s what they came up with…
• Better to be safe than…punch a 5th grader.
• It’s always darkest before…Daylight Saving Time.
• Don’t bite the hand that…looks dirty.
• A penny saved…is not much.
• Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and…you have to blow your nose.
• Children should be seen and not…spanked or grounded.
• A miss is as good as a…Mrs.
B. We’re going to see this morning that according to Scripture a “Miss” is just as good as a “Mrs.”
C. Speaking of children, I heard about a preacher who was visiting a fourth-grade Sunday School class to talk about marriage. As part of his teaching, he asked the class, “What does God say about marriage?” Immediately one boy shot up his hand and replied, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”
D. While it’s certainly true that some people get married today and don’t know what they’re getting into…to those of you who are single, I want to ask you to forgive us as a church if we make you feel second class or unimportant. Please forgive us if we know not what we are doing when we put pressure on you to get married, or make disparaging comments, or tease you, or just leave you out of things. That’s wrong.
E. For a married man to talk to singles about how to be single might sound a little strange. Part of me wonders if you who are single want to hear this message. Part of me wonders if married people will simply sleep through this message. But I believe God as much to say that is good for both the married and the singles about living the single’s life. So let’s jump into God’s word and listen to God speak.
I. The Gift of Singleness
A. 1 Cor. 7:7-8. I want us a church to understand that being single is a gift from God. A gift that we as a church need. While many people do get married, the marriage rate is decreasing not increasing in this country. As we study this letter, we will gifts in chapters 12 through 14. But it is the same word that is used here. Paul says that each person has their own gift – either marriage or celibacy.
B. What this means is that if you’re single right now, you have the gift of singleness. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll have this gift for your whole life, but that right now God has presented you with this present in the present. God may change your assignment or you may become increasingly content with being single. As one author says, “There’s grace for being so gifted either way.” Nancy Leigh DeMoss, who is single, writes this: “I am not single by accident. I am not single because I have made up mind not to marry. Rather, I am single because God has chosen for me the gift of singleness.”
C. Paul says in verse 1, 8, 26. The word translated “good” means acceptable, beautiful and honorable. These are words of life to those of you who have felt shame in your singleness. No one has a right to tell you that you should marry, get a boyfriend/girlfriend or treat you as a fifth wheel.
II. Celibacy or Marriage
A. But with this gift of singleness comes an understanding that God also calls you to live according to His desires. Look at verse 9. Being single means being celibate. I said it last week, and I will reiterate this week. There is not sexual activity for anyone outside marriage. You might have a sexual desire, but if you are single, God calls you to self-control. Paul continues this thought in verses 25-28.
B. When I was growing up there was a phrase that went “Turn or Burn!” What it meant was repent or face the fire of Hell. Paul gives a similar thought in verses 9 and 37 and throughout this passage. There is nothing wrong with marriage. Paul calls marriage a gift just like being single is a gift. Many people have desires that make being single difficult to live the Christian life. Paul comes back to those people and says, if you can’t control the sexual desire then marry. It is better to marry than burn – burn how? With desire or in Hell? The NIV says “with passion” which may well be the thought, but anyway you view it, if you lack self control it is sinful to act out your desires.
III. The Greatest Reason for the Gift
A. While being single is a gift that the church needs, and being single is a calling to live a self-controlled life, the highest calling for being single is because of what you can give God.
B. Maybe your singleness is temporary, then use this time that God has not brought someone into your life as a way to work hard for the Lord. Listen to verses 32-35. The present crisis that Christians faced in Corinth, and throughout the Mediterranean world 2000 years ago was persecution that was increasing. As we continue to read through the NT, we will notice that persecution would increase to the point that some would lose their lives. Let me tell that as a husband and father, hurting Kerri or the kids is more pain to me than hurting me. Families were used to hurt the men because the men were called upon to be spiritual leader of the family and in that culture, the man was also normally the only incoming earner.
C. Paul statement is not that being single is better, but he helps us to understand that being single has great spiritual benefits. The person who is not attached and in covenant relationship to a spouse has more time be wholly devoted to God. I am required by God to think about Kerri and the kids in every decision I make, therefore I am unable to just drop everything and give myself to each person here. My interests are divided, which is God’s calling, but as a single person, you can devote more of yourself to God’s work.
Conclusion:
A. If you are single or married, understand that it is only in Christ that you find your significance. Some people are single and often looking in all the wrong places for a relationship. Some people are single, but think highly of themselves like they are better. Then there are those who are single and content. They know that God loves them and they have a place in the family of God.
B. Paul was single and blessed the church tremendously. Jesus, as God’s Son, lived the single life (despite what the DiVinci code teaches). The point, live your life as called by God in fullness and joy. Live your life pleasing to God in purity.
